the art and discipline of slow and and expansive musing



It's late-ish on a Friday evening and I am alone with my thoughts ... and they are mixed bunch. They come from different parts of (my) life;
  • new recipes from home cooked meals in Vasto
  • planning for a new client project that has me reaching for books from my library that haven't been cracked open for a few years
  • images and impressions from the design and travel journals that I digested slowly over a solo pizza dinner at Annie's
  • frustration that my foray into learning to play music has taken a pause in recent weeks  
  • preparatory thinking for steering the discussion at a board meeting I will chair next week
  • troubling and conflicting reflections about elite-ism, democracy and first nation's justice from this last week's two day gathering of civil society leaders in the national capital
  • a commitment to recapture my childhood love of drawing and graphics
  • Friday night football
  • anxiety about my lack of exercise due to travel and illness
  • a commitment to learn Italian so next time I can be more communicative
  • anticipation of an upcoming work trip with the promise of great learning
  • intrigue about how to develop a simple design a workplace discussion that resembles a dinner party more than a workshop ...
I have learned not to try to squeeze clarity from this cacophony of thoughts; rather I let them brew, wafting between the unconscious and being front of mind. As the imperative for particular thinking arrives, somehow the unique mix of all this thinking adds value to the particular.

My dear mum (and my dad by proxy) have been living with dementia for many years now. It is not pretty. I know I'm getting old(er) but sometimes I worry about my own brain's inability to retain and recall things. In this season of life where I sense a transition toward less intense (paid) work, I am committed to keeping the organ in my head fit and healthy. I know that in the next decades my health will be both more vulnerable and critical for my capacity to keep living the life I wish to.

I am done with easy thinking. I don't want to retreat into the comfort of familiar ideas - I want to be stretched in my understanding and appreciation of different ways of seeing the world. I will pursue creative disciplines. I will seek to understand people who with whom I disagree. I will seek mastery in my field and not be content with mere excellence ...

And now I will go to bed before this blog becomes unpublishable ...

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currently reading

Decolonizing Solidarity: Dilemmas and Directions for Supporters of Indigenous Struggles
Sand Talk
Radical Wholeness: The Embodied Present and the Ordinary Grace of Being
A New Republic of the Heart: An Ethos for Revolutionaries--A Guide to Inner Work for Holistic Change